What Has The Alliance Ever Done For Us?
Based on the Scene ‘What have the Romans ever done for us?’ from the film "Monty Python's Life of Brian"
Sometime in the future.....The powerful dictators that were in charge had made it compulsory for EVERYONE to eat their chemical laden, GMO infested, industrially produced food, which had to be purchased from one of their “approved” outlets. Nobody was allowed to grow or rear their own food and if anyone tried to produce any food that did not contribute to the big agri-business profit machine, they were met by dawn raids by armed police officers and were promptly shot. All small scale independent farmers had long since been outlawed.
Because of the industrially produced food consumption health issues had reached a critical state, (everyone was born diabetic and by the age of ten had developed some kind of disease or condition such as cancer, depression, ADHD, asthma, heart failure, Parkinson’s etc), that 85% of people’s wages were spent on health insurance, health care and pharmaceutical drugs. (It was compulsory to take a statin drug from birth and they were also added to the water supply).
The dictators had outlawed any natural herbal remedies and anyone seen so much as picking even any kind of weed from the roadside was subject to a mandatory 20 year prison sentence.
Out of this misery an alliance of independent thinkers emerged which gained the support of the people and managed to overthrow the dictators. The alliance comprised of Dave Dixon, Kurt Harris, Chris Masterjohn, Andrew Badenoch, Sally Fallon, Tom Naughton, Michael Eades, Mark Sisson, Richard Nikoley, Charles Washington, Natasha Campbell-McBride, Uffe Ravnskov, Gary Taubes, Jimmy Moore, Petro Dobromylskyj, Barry Groves, Michael D. Fox, Stephan Guyenet, and a few more. Probably the most influential member of the alliance was Sally Fallon. The alliance put policies in place that made it possible for EVERYBODY to eat organic unadulterated natural real food, either grown in their own garden or bought from their local farmer.
The implementation of these policies has decimated the profits of the former global chiefs’ multinational corporations and they are plotting their revenge...
The interior of WILLIAM C WELDON’S office at Johnson & Johnson. A darkened room with a very conspiratorial atmosphere. OBAMA and BIDEN are seated at a table at one end of the room. MUHTAR KENT leader of Coca Cola, dressed in Activist gear — black robes and a red sash around his head — is standing by a plan on the wall. He is addressing an audience of about eight MASKED Activists including PAUL POLMAN from Unilever. Their faces are partially hidden.
Muhtar:
We get in through the underground heating system here... up through to the main audience chamber here... and Sally’s office is here. Having grabbed a hostage, we inform Sally that we have a hostage in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?
Polman:
What exactly are the demands?
Obama:
We're giving Sally two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the alliance way of eating and if she doesn't agree immediately we feed the hostage our industrially produced bread and soy.
Weldon:
Industrially produced bread and soy?
Muhtar:
Yes industrially produced bread and soy, we need to take extreme measures. Send pictures back every hour on the hour... show her we're not to be trifled with.
Obama:
Also, we're demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of Sally eating soy and sugar coated cereals.
Biden:
What? They'll never agree to that, Barrack.
Obama:
That's just a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we broadcast pictures of the hostage eating industrially produced bread and soy, and... that we shall not submit to blackmail.
Polman:
(Applause) No blackmail!
Obama:
She’s bled us dry, Sally has. She’s taken everything we had, not just from us, from Pfizer, from Monsanto, from Astra Zeneca.
Biden:
And from Glaxo Smith Kline, Johnson & Johnson and Merck.
Obama:
Yes.
Biden:
And from Archer Daniels Midland, Tyson, Chiquita, Roche and Abbott.
Obama:
All right, Joe. Don't labour the point. And what have she ever given us in return?
Polman:
She’s eradicated diabetes.
Obama:
Oh yeah, yeah she did that. Yeah. That's true.
Masked Activist:
And cancer!
Biden:
Oh yes...cancer, Barrack, you remember what how that used to be like.
Obama:
All right, I'll grant you that eradicating diabetes and cancer are two things that Sally has done...
Weldon:
And we don’t need health insurance anymore, no one's ever ill...
Obama:
(sharply) Well yes obviously health insurance ... health insurance goes without saying. But apart from eradicating diabetes & cancer and not needing health insurance...
Another Masked Activist:
No one’s depressed or commits suicide anymore...
Other Masked Voices:
She’s eradicated ADHD... asthma... obesity...
Obama:
Yes... all right, fair enough...
Activist Near Front:
And we all love a grass fed rib-eye...
Polman:
Oh yes! True!
Muhtar:
Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if Sally left, Barrack.
Masked Activist at Back:
Pemmican!
Biden:
Everyone is happy and contented and it's safe to walk in the streets at night now.
Muhtar:
Yes, they certainly know how to keep order... (general nodding)... let's face it, they're the only ones who could in a place like this. (more general murmurs of agreement)
Obama:
All right... all right... but apart from eradicating diabetes, cancer, not needing health insurance, eradicating depression, suicide, ADHD, asthma and obesity... oh yes, and giving all of us those juicy steaks and tasty pemmican, and now everyone’s happy and contented we have public order... apart from that... what has Sally ever done for us?
Polman:
Brought peace and true health!
Obama:
(very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh... (scornfully) Peace and health, yes... shut up!
